The world is extremely mysterious. Every day we see many things that we take for granted without knowing how and why this happens. From billions of years people saw apple falling on the ground, yet they never thought why apple falls to the ground and does not go up. Newton for the first time thought, that there must be some force that must be pulling apple down to earth. This thought resulted to the discovery of gravity, the universal force of attraction that existed between all material entities of the universe since its origin. Gradually, scientists also discovered the electrical and magnetic forces between electrical charges and magnetic substances. Yet scientists could never find any satisfactory answer as to why different types of materials attract or repulse?
What is true in the world of particle is also true in the world of living beings. Every specie of the world gets attracted towards the member of opposite sex. Yet hardly any answers as to why it happens. We all as human beings are aware of the force of attraction that pulls us towards each other, yet we can not know why it happens.
The Reason for Attraction
While scientists have no reason to explain why material attracts, yet they have discovered some reason for the attraction between male and female species using the theory of evolution. They believe that the attraction between male and female species in this world is due to their desire to mate so that they reproduce children. These theories are based on the Darwin’s evolution principle as no spies would survive otherwise than reproduction. Yet the answer is incomplete as even after the people have produced the children, the forces of attraction des not diminish.
Studies show that certain physical characteristics stimulate the brain’s hypothalamus, leading to elevated heart rate, perspiration, and feelings of sexual arousal. What leads to this response? Perhaps the most obvious is a youthful appearance, which is linked to reproductive capacity. [Buss, David M. The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. New York: HarperCollins, 1994] Women are similarly attracted to men for what they have to offer in terms of reproduction.
Yet the dull scientific research always misses the mystery of the universe. What causes heart rate, perspiration and feelings to rise? These actions seem nothing less than a miracle though we know that they happen. Einstein captured these thoughts in the following words
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
The clue to the physical attraction can be found from our knowledge of physics. For example, we all know that opposite charges attract. We know that all materials are neutral in their natural state. However they gets charged when electrons are removed from the material which make them positively charged while the matter having excess electrons are negativity charged. Hence the opposite charges attract so that they can neutralize their charges and come back to their original conditions. Same explanation exists for the magnetic particles.
We can also explain the attractions due to gravity using the same principles as even science believes that all matter and energy were one before the big-bang. Hence all maters seems to attract towards each other to attain the original neutral state of the matter and energy.
Using the same principle, it can be said that perhaps the attraction between the opposite sexes is due to their desire to become one as they were one sometime in past. We call it love as we know that it exists (like gravity) yet we can’t know why it exists. Since every human being is not only a body but also mind, soul and spirit (God), hence four types of love exists between the species of the human race.
1. Physical Bonds: The Basic Instinct
The most primitive and fundamental for of love between male and female is due to the differences in their body. The physical designs are complementary to each other which attracts towards each other. People get satisfaction and pleasure in the company of the person of the opposite sex. Even touch of hand is pleasurable and transmits energy and love. The reason seems to be chemical as the body shows increased flow of body fluids and chemicals when the physical bonding between male and females takes place.
The physical bonding between boy and girl is expressed by Tina Turner is one of the song “What’s Love Got To Do With It” that captured te imagination of billions of people all over the world in the eighties.
You must understand
That the touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react
That it`s only the thrill
Of boy meeting girl
You must try to ignore
That it means more than that
Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it
What`s love but a second hand emotion
What`s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken
Physical Bonding is the oldest and most fundamental form of love that exits between man and woman. Prostitutions are considered to be the oldest profession of the world that humanity discovered to tap this attraction between male and female.
2. Mental Bonds: Friendship
While the animals find only the physical bonding between the opposite sexes as they fail to raise much above the physical level, male with their increased mental faculty found another form of boding that binds males and females. This bond also exists between the members of same sexes.
Friendship is found between the people having complementary thoughts. In the words of Mencius
“Friendship is one mind in two bodies.”
The mind of every person desires to know what it does not know so as to make itself whole. That knowledge may be living with someone elses mind. The friendship stems from the desire of two people to share their thoughts so that their minds grow and become complete.
The mind of male and females are as complementary as their bodies. Thus every man finds a different way of looking at the world, when he sees the worlds through the eyes of the woman. Thus a man who has good friendship with women is the epitome of “goodness” as his mind is fully grown up. On the contrary, the people who does not have friends in the member of opposite senses, are truly evil without doubt as their view is extremely unbalanced. All dictators and despots never had friendship with women and the list includes Hitler, Stalin and Mao though they had physical bonding with the women. Hence their minds were never truly evolved. The mind of a person can have the satisfaction, tranquility and peace only if it has friends in the members of opposite sex.
3. Emotional Bonding: The Feeling of Love
The most beautiful and powerful relationship that exits between the male and female is emotional. All emotions spring automatically in people due to the desire of souls to become one. The souls of a man and woman are complementary to each other as they originate from the same source. This is not only a philosophical truth but also a physical truth. Hence they always aspire to meet each other so as to balance each other like the opposite electrical charges or magnets of opposite poles.
The emotional bonding between a man and a woman is often so powerful that people even sacrifice their lives or kill themselves in their attempt to become one. Love is often called the fetal attraction as it is responsible for most of the crimes of this world.
Love is like a chemical reaction that transforms the souls of man and woman. People in love are changed from their core due to the transformation of their soul just like hydrogen and oxygen loses their identity when they combine to make the drop of water.
Love alone brings peace and happiness in the life of people which can not be bought with all the wealth of the world.
4. Spiritual Bonding: God in All
Man and woman also share the highest level of spiritual bonds with each other. The spiritual relationship is based on the non-physical relationship between the people. In this type of relationship, people have no expectation from each other as they all seems to merge their identity with God or Holy Spirit that is the origin of all entities of the universe.
The spiritual or nonphysical bonding exists between the people of opposite sexes in many forms. It is manifested in the form of love to mother, love to children, love to siblings and at later stage of the life even between the love of spouse. Spiritual love is the final stage of love between every person when the bonding evolves to its highest level. The seed of this love is always present in the person and it is first manifested in the child with his or her love of mother. Gradually all other forms of love diminish and only the spiritual love remains in the most evolved human beings in this world like Jesus, Buddha or Gandhi. This form of love is truly selfless and unconditional.
The Evolution of Human Bonding
All bonding between human beings can be classified in the four types viz. body, mind, soul and spirit. The journey of life starts from the spiritual bonding of love that alone exists in a child. However as the body, mind and soul of the person grows in this world, the bonding of love gets manifested in different forms. While in case of animals , the bonding hardly crosses the physical level, in man it evolves from physical to mental to emotional and finally takes a full circle and comes back to the level of spiritual level. Spiritual love makes a man divine and integrates him with God so that he achieves his salvation or goal of life. The cycle of life continues till a man realizes his spiritual love with God and man.
Dr. Awdhesh K Singh is an Engineer by education and philosopher by passion. He holds his PhD degree in the area of E-Governance.
He has published several papers in International Journals and Conferences on the subject of E-governance and the application of Artificial Intelligence tools like Fuzzy Logic (FL) and Expert Systems (ES) for E-governance.
He has keen interest in the study and application of Religion, Spirtuality and Philosophies for solving the real-life problems of the modern world.
Many of his articles are published on the website of Aatmic Science Forum and Science of Soul.
His can be contacted on the email aksinghirs [a] yahoo.com