My girlfriend pointed out how I get tense when splitting bills when we go out. I prefer to use an app like Splitwise to keep track of who owes who and that helps us decide who should pay. It feels fair to me. She’s fine with it and not into traditional gender roles where the guy pays for everything, but she did say that her past partners didn’t even let her pay if she wanted to. She said she’s fine paying separate, but she wanted to help me see a limiting belief that I might be carrying when I don’t have to.

It became clear that I am sensitive and tight with my money. I tend to worry about getting the best deal, not wasting anything, not getting ripped off or taken advantage of, not feeling used, etc. That when negotiating with clients I can come across as over-protective and needlessly defensive about what I’m getting paid.

I come from a poor family that was always pinching pennies and saying “we can’t afford it” to any extra expense. She grew up middle class with two highly educated and successful parents. To her money was always available and never something to worry about. But for me, lack of money was constantly an issue.

I’d like to know how I can shift these beliefs to more of a wealth mindset. How do I let go and relax about money and stop being such a cheapskate?

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